I am making this Blog to document the process of my Senior Thesis at the Maryland Institute College of Art (MICA). The process should go from Sept 2012 to May of 2013. My film is called "Terrible People" It is a dark comedy. This film is animated in stop motion and composite in adobe after effects.
THESIS 2012-2013
LIVE THE DREAM FOLLOW YOUR HEART
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Voice Recordings Long and Short
My friend Mike told me that it would be a good idea to record myself pitching my thesis to get an idea of the timing and energy. Below is the long version and the short version. I will take the long one and make it into an animatic.
I listened to the long one. It's very good - keep the emotion in there. I think the main critique I have is to shorten it in parts, primarily at the end. The climactic moment is the tree falling, so all the suspense should be saved for before that. Then don't waste any time getting to the punchline or people will figure it out ahead of time.
Again, in my opinion, get rid of the dialogue about the brakes, and possibly the whole bit with the mom.
I think it would be really effective if she didn't stick around to see him die. When he says, "wait are you breaking up with me?" have her already running away (maybe he pauses, and says Ruby?!). She could yell back the line about "it's not all about you." Then get right to the car gag.
"Show, don't tell" with the breaks. Have her hit the breaks, try again, and try desperately so it's clear what's going on. Then you can slow down that beautiful end shot as she drives off the cliff. That looks awesome by the way - can't wait to see more work in progress.
I listened to the long one. It's very good - keep the emotion in there. I think the main critique I have is to shorten it in parts, primarily at the end. The climactic moment is the tree falling, so all the suspense should be saved for before that. Then don't waste any time getting to the punchline or people will figure it out ahead of time.
ReplyDeleteAgain, in my opinion, get rid of the dialogue about the brakes, and possibly the whole bit with the mom.
I think it would be really effective if she didn't stick around to see him die. When he says, "wait are you breaking up with me?" have her already running away (maybe he pauses, and says Ruby?!). She could yell back the line about "it's not all about you." Then get right to the car gag.
"Show, don't tell" with the breaks. Have her hit the breaks, try again, and try desperately so it's clear what's going on. Then you can slow down that beautiful end shot as she drives off the cliff. That looks awesome by the way - can't wait to see more work in progress.