THESIS 2012-2013

LIVE THE DREAM FOLLOW YOUR HEART

Saturday, September 22, 2012

UPDATED THESIS STORYBOARDS




2 comments:

  1. The bank robbing couple is an interesting twist on the original story. Even though it's cool, I'd be wary of adding the money as a factor. My thought was if the tree fell on Abe, Ruby would grab the money and run (if she's such a terrible person). With the original story, it was simpler and consisted of an exaggerated breakup. Just keep the character motivations in mind. What does Abe want? (sex, but also freedom to go west). What does Ruby want? (Not to lose Abe, but also *mult-layered girl needs*)

    Overall, the pacing is much better. The deer is a good gag to show clearly why she swerves off the cliff. I also like that you don't show her getting into the car. It is better that it drives by and then you see her at the wheel - nice touch.

    Again, the abstinent bank robber thing isn't working for me, but that's a call you'll have to make.

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  2. I saw the storyboards before I read the script and thought it was a Romeo and Juliet type story. Now that I've read the script, and understand what these two are doing, I'd say you need to show more and say less. They could be following a map to the buried money. Let the audience figure out what is going on instead of telling them. I thought the break up was good, although I didn't quite get why the girl was so ready to leave the boy after telling him how much she loved him.

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