http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00006HN5Q/ref=oh_details_o00_s00_i00
Below is my story treatment rough
Story Treatment for Thesis
Working Title: TERRIBLE PEOPLE
Created by: Grant
Lindahl
Intro
1.
A couple is hiking in the mountains.
2.
The man tells the woman that he is moving tomorrow
and he plans to leave this one horse town forever.
3.
The woman’s life is here. She grew up here she says
she doesn’t want to leave.
4.
She feels guilty and decides to leave with him.
5.
The Man climbs a tree that reminds him of his
childhood.
6.
The Woman says “Get down from there”
Rising Action
7.
The man falls from the tree on to his back.
8.
The tree then tips over and falls on his legs.
9.
The woman runs over and screams “Oh no I cant
handle this I cant handle this.”
10. The
man screams ”Quick call 911 I cant feel my legs”
11. The
woman seems to not hear him and says “ I just think we are at different points
in our lives right now”
12. The
man says “ Im loosing blood…. Wait, are you breaking up with me?”
13. Woman
says “ Its not always about you Abe!”
Climax
14. Guy
moans “I’m loosing blood, I feel faint, kajflkjdaf (dies)
15. Woman runs away crying.
Resolution
16. You
see a car driving at night on the highway
17. The
Woman is driving the car; her cell phone begins to ring.
18. Girl
on phone “ Hey mom yeah I broke up with Abe, yeah its for the best.
19. Girl
looks down at her floor and looks up with panic. She screams “Oh no my breaks
aren’t working”
20. The
car drives off of a cliff with her in it screaming.
21. Cut
to black. (END)
I love the idea of using magnets. It's easy to control, a cool technique, and cheap.
ReplyDeleteAs far as this latest script, I like the simplified version you pitched to me a little better. I would remove the part where the girl is talking to her mom at the end, especially with her saying "oh no my breaks!" - seems a little forced.
Other than that, play up the character personalities from the start. Maybe push the idea that she's a big hippocrite or that he's a daredevil who would climb a tree that's too tall (insert whatever your ideas for the characters are, that's just my read).
Looking good so far - I also like that you added a little (presumably musical) intro with credits.
Yes I agree. I want the girl to still fly over the cliff because there is this really beautiful scene where she flies off but again I agree it does seemed forced. I need to find somebody who know how to use the MICA sound booths. Do you have any tips for me on how to use the sound booths?
ReplyDeleteTalk to John Bevers - he's usually around the video floor or at the AV counter. If you took sound classes, then you already have the training, and you just need to sign up on the door. If not, or if you have questions, ask him about getting the basic training for the booths and then schedule a time. You can check out marantz recorders, microphones, etc. to get field recordings, and record the dialogue in the booths.
ReplyDelete